Managing Anxiety with Nonverbal Strategies

19 years ago, I used to get incredibly nervous before speaking on stage. Racing heart. Tunnel vision. Dry mouth. Today, half of my job is being on stage. Here’s my 7-step pre-stage checklist for how I conquered stage fright: (Before you step on the stage) Step 1: Set One Clear Intention Nerves often come from scattered thoughts.  So anchor your mind with a single, positive goal: • For a pitch: “Get the buyer to sign and stay firm on numbers.” • For a presentation: “Connect with the audience and deliver value.” Avoid negatives like “don’t mess up.” Your brain clings to “mess up.” — Step 2: Pick a Focal Point Choose a random spot in the back of the room (or bring a grounding object, like a pen). Right before you begin, mentally send all your nervous energy there. It gives your brain somewhere to “put” the anxiety - and frees you up to focus. — Step 3: Breathe Mindfully Most people shallow-breathe when they’re nervous. This just worsens anxiety. Do this instead: • Close your eyes • Breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth • Push your belly out with each inhale (deep belly breathing) — Step 4: Release Muscle Tension Anxiety makes us clench everything - jaw, shoulders, stomach. This kills blood flow and increases anxiety. Instead, start at your head or toes and relax each muscle group with one breath: • Relax your face and eyes • Relax your jaw and neck • Loosen shoulders and chest • Relax arms and hands • Relax your stomach and abs • Continue down to your toes You’ll feel calmer and more grounded instantly. — Step 5: Find Your Center Before going on stage, shift your focus to a spot 2 inches below your belly button. This is your physical center - used by athletes and performers to stay grounded. As you breathe, imagine calm radiating from that point. During your talk, return to it anytime nerves creep in. It’s your internal anchor. — (While you’re on stage) Step 6: Repeat Your Process Cue This is your personal “how” mantra. • Interviewer: “Smile and ask great questions.” • Speaker: “Keep it warm and engaging.” • Performer: “Smooth and steady.” Keep repeating it silently throughout to stay focused and intentional. — Step 7: Direct Your Energy Feel the nerves rising? Don’t fight them - redirect them. Use your focal point from Step 2. Mentally “throw” your anxious energy toward it. It’s like dropping a heavy backpack: instant relief. __ Save this post and come back to it before your next big moment. Whether it's a presentation, interview, or performance, these steps will help you show up as your most confident, centered self.

Ever feel a rush of nerves when making small talk… or total fear before presenting to a room full of colleagues? You’re not alone—and you’re not powerless. We know connection is vital to getting ahead. But, it's not easy for so many people. I've spent 20 years working with top performers in every industry. I’ve seen how fear can show up in any social situation—from quick conversations to high-stakes presentations. But with self-awareness and self-regulation, you can learn to stay grounded and lead with clarity, not anxiety. Here’s how to navigate the spectrum: ✅ Small Talk: Notice the tension in your body. Take a breath. Remind yourself: connection, not perfection, is the goal. Be curious, not clever. ✅Group Conversations: Pause before jumping in. Observe the room. Ask thoughtful questions. Managing your emotions here means listening more than proving. ✅ Team Meetings: Anticipate your triggers—interruptions, disagreement, spotlight moments. Name what you feel internally (“I’m tense”) to loosen its grip. Use calm body language to model poise. ✅ Big Presentations: Reframe nerves as energy. Use positive self-talk: “I’m prepared. I’m ready.” Breathe deeply to calm your nervous system. Imagine your success before you speak. ✅ Emotional intelligence doesn’t mean you don’t feel fear—it means you don’t let fear lead. You know how to manage it. You know how to use fear to your advantage. Your power is in your pause, your breath, and your presence. Own the room by owning you first.

The enemy of executive presence is…anxiety. I believe the single most important thing an executive can do to improve their presence is manage their anxiety when the nerves kick in. And they will kick in. 😰 Right before an important presentation to the entire dept 😰 In the middle of a 1:1 skip-level with your boss’s boss 😰 After someone challenges you in front of an SVP Here are a few techniques to help self-regulate when the adrenaline dump arrives: PHYSICAL TECHNIQUES * Lengthen your exhale * Inhale for 4 counts. Exhale for 6–8 counts. This signals to your body that you are safe. It lowers cortisol and calms the nervous system. * Use up excess adrenaline * Either jog in place for 30 seconds. Or lightly shake your hands or arms to discharge nervous energy. (I’ve a client who does push-ups. Says it works like a charm.) MENTAL TECHNIQUES * Shift the spotlight * Instead of thinking: “how am I doing?” Ask yourself: “How can I be of service to the group?” Reframing moves you from self-focus to purpose. * Detach from perfection * Your goal isn’t to be flawless—it’s to be real, clear, and share your information with people who need it. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being present. #ExecutivePresence #LeadershipDevelopment #SelfRegulation

Want to cut performance anxiety by 60% in just 14 days? Here's a framework I've used with athletes that transforms pre-game nerves into confidence: First, you need to calm your nervous system. Anxiety starts in the body. When your heart races and muscles tense, it's nearly impossible to focus. Your nervous system is in fight-or-flight mode. The solution? Controlled breathing to regulate your nervous system -- think box breathing or 4-7-8 breathing. Studies show that controlled breathing techniques reduced performance anxiety in collegiate basketball players and improved focus under pressure. But breathing is just the foundation. Next, you train your attention to stay present. Anxiety thrives on "what-if" thinking. What if I miss? What if I fail? What if I let everyone down? The antidote to "what if" is "what now." LeBron James uses mindfulness to stay focused during critical games. Research shows mindful athletes perform better under pressure and recover faster from mistakes. Finally, you need to reframe your thoughts. Roger Federer struggled with self-doubt early in his career. By reframing negative thoughts and embracing challenges, he became one of tennis's most mentally resilient players. That's why he won over 80% of his matches winning just 54% of his points. Here's the key insight: Most games you're anxious about don't actually matter that much. Not that they aren't important – but the odds of one game redefining your life are small. Keeping perspective helps you see the game for what it is instead of the threat it could be. The process is simple: 1. Calm the body 2. Focus the mind 3. Reframe thoughts In just 14 days, you can transform pre-game anxiety into pre-game confidence. Remember: Anxiety doesn't have to be your story. Want to start? Pick one practice and begin today. Whether it's five minutes of box breathing or reframing one negative thought. Stay consistent, and you'll feel different before your next competition.