Tips for Staying Composed Under Pressure

💡 The Pre-Meeting Emotional Check-In: A Game-Changer for Leaders 🧠 Neuroscience Insight: Ever walked into a high-stakes meeting feeling stressed, only to realize your tone or body language unintentionally set the wrong vibe? That’s because stress triggers a cortisol spike, increasing heart rate, shortening breath, and leading to emotional hijacking. But here’s the fix—preparing before the meeting can rewire the brain for composure and control. 🔄 A Quick Story: I once coached a leader preparing for a tough conversation with an underperforming employee. Their instinct? “I need to be firm. They need to hear the truth.” But their stress was hijacking their tone—coming off as harsh instead of constructive. ✅ The Shift: A Simple Pre-Meeting Check-In 🔹 Three Words to Embody: Calm, Encouraging, Solution-Oriented 🔹 Mirror Practice: Rehearse a balanced, supportive tone: 💬 “I appreciate your efforts and want to help you succeed. Let’s work on a plan together.” 🔥 The Outcome: Instead of shutting down, the employee engaged in the conversation. The leader communicated with clarity, respect, and vulnerability, turning a difficult discussion into a collaborative problem-solving session. 🚀 CRAVE Leadership in Action: ✔ Communication – Leading with intention and clarity. ✔ Respect – Treating team members as valued contributors. ✔ Vulnerability – Being open to difficult conversations with composure. ✨ Your Turn: Before your next meeting, try this: Write down three words that describe how you want to show up. How does it change your presence? Drop your three words in the comments—I’d love to hear them! ⬇️ #DrAmin #CRAVELeadership #NeuroLeadership #LeadershipDevelopment #CommunicationSkills #ExecutivePresence #EmotionalIntelligence

Your brain is wired to avoid conflict at all costs. Avoiding hard conversations doesn’t eliminate problems-it multiplies them. I’ve worked with countless first-time managers, VPs, and even senior executives who freeze when it’s time to: - Give tough feedback - Address poor performance - Set firm boundaries - Have that uncomfortable talk with an underperforming team member Why does this happen? Because biologically, your brain still thinks conflict = danger.  When faced with confrontation, your amygdala (the fear center of your brain) hijacks your response system. - Heart rate spikes. - Hands get clammy. - Your brain perceives the conversation as a threat, triggering fight, flight, or freeze.  This is why so many leaders either: - Overreact (aggressive, defensive, emotional outbursts) - Shut down (avoid the issue, sugarcoat, delay tough calls) The result? - Performance issues linger. - Low accountability erodes culture. - Leaders lose credibility. The best organizations-the ones that scale, retain top talent, and build elite teams-don’t just train leaders on strategy. They train them on emotional regulation and communication.  How Elite Leaders Stay Calm & In Control During Tough Talks  1. Hack Your Nervous System with Tactical Breathing Your breath controls your physiology. Try box breathing (4-4-4-4): Inhale 4 sec → Hold 4 sec → Exhale 4 sec → Hold 4 sec. Navy SEALs use this under combat stress—it works in boardrooms too.  2. Reframe the Conversation in Your Mind Instead of “This is going to be a brutal conversation,” say “This is an opportunity to align expectations and help someone grow.” Shift from confrontation → collaboration.  3. Use Nonverbal Cues to De-Escalate Lower your tone. Slow down your speech. Maintain open body language. People mirror your energy—if you stay calm, they will too.  4. Replace “Softening” Phrases with Direct, Clear Statements - “I feel like maybe there’s a small issue with your performance…” ✅ “Here’s what I’ve observed, and here’s what needs to change.” Clarity is kindness. Sugarcoating only confuses people.  Why This Matters for Companies Investing in Leadership Training - 85% of employees say poor leadership communication causes workplace stress. (Forbes) - 69% of managers say they’re uncomfortable communicating with employees. (HBR) - Companies with emotionally intelligent leadership see 34% higher retention rates. (Case Study Group at Cornell) If your company isn’t training leaders on handling tough conversations, you’re losing talent, productivity, and trust. Want to build a leadership culture where tough conversations drive growth instead of fear? Let’s talk. #LeadershipTraining #ExecutiveCoaching #CommunicationSkills #LeadershipDevelopment #CultureOfAccountability #EmotionalIntelligence #HighPerformanceTeams

The best leaders do not react in crisis—they pause with purpose. There is a lot going on in the world, and leaders are being required to make high-stakes decisions under pressure, many without enough time, data, or emotional clarity. The most effective leaders do not rush into crisis decisions. They pause on purpose. I learned this lesson the hard way. A few years ago, I found myself in a high-stakes situation in my business. My instinct was to respond immediately, to fix it, to move, but something in me said, pause. Instead of reacting, I gave myself 24 hours. In that space, I calmed my thoughts, gathered facts, consulted trusted people, and created a plan I could stand behind. Looking back, that 24-hour pause changed everything. It turned what could have been a rushed, emotional decision into a moment of clarity and leadership. Now, I teach this to every executive I work with. I call it the 24-Hour Principle. Unless there is immediate physical danger, give yourself a full day before making any major crisis decision. Here is how I break it down: ✅ First 6 hours: Process emotions and gather initial facts ✅ Next 12 hours: Consult with key stakeholders and experts ✅ Final 6 hours: Analyze potential impact and outline your response This is not procrastination. This is strategic patience. Research shows that Leaders who follow this model avoid the majority of regret-filled decisions that come from acting under emotional stress. The 24-hour buffer gives you time to shift from reaction to strategy. It helps you lead with intention, not panic. Next time you are in crisis mode, try this. Set a timer. Breathe. Create space for your best thinking to show up. What is your biggest leadership challenge right now? #leaders #leadership #leadershipdevelopment #crisismanagment

Would you like a technique to help keep your emotions and communications in check during meetings? In your minds eye, imagine yourself getting ready to present at an important event then your phone rings, you answer it, and you end up hearing some really bad news. What would you do to compose yourself? You’re on in 5 more minutes. That type of scenario is real, I’ve experienced it and so have a lot of other individuals. Bad news BEFORE a presentation is challenging enough, but what about something that triggers your emotions negatively DURING an important meeting, perhaps by a  colleague saying something upsetting or that makes you feel angry. What can you do to keep your emotions in check? First, remove the emotion and instead consider what's being said. Avoid taking it personally and clarify the meaning with a question. And an effective technique is to focus your mind on something in the room that is factual, e.g. look at the wall and silently tell yourself what color it is, or count the number of people in the room. This will reset your brain, giving you a chance to calm down while keeping your emotions, and more importantly, your REPUTATION intact. Whether you feel triggered in a sales call, performance review, interview, or team meeting you only need to “act cool” for a few moments before the feelings will pass. Use the "brain reset" technique and you get to keep your shining reputation! #communicationtraining #leadership #emotionalintelligence

Imagine standing at the pinnacle of your career, having achieved a coveted spot in the MIT Executive MBA program, only to be blindsided by one damaging piece of anonymous feedback in a 360 leadership evaluation: "Angelique needs to stop acting like a petulant child!" 🤬Angry and embarrassed, my first reaction was to ignore it. When my MIT-sponsored executive coach, who was reviewing all of my leadership assessment data, asked if I wanted to address it,  I said, “No. I know who wrote that. He just has it out for me,” 🤔But the more I thought about it, the more I had to admit there might be some truth to his comments.  A few months later, I brought it up. 🙄😤“You know what? I think there might be something to this feedback. Sometimes I get so frustrated at work that I roll my eyes or huff in exasperation.” While I think it is OK to get frustrated at work, I don’t like having these visible reactions that make me seem like I’m not in control of my emotions. And if I’m honest, in those moments, I don’t feel like I’m in control of my emotions, either. “I can see how these reactions leave a negative impression on my colleagues, so I would like to spend some time working on it.” So we did. And it changed everything. With my coach’s help, I was able to hone my ability to regulate my emotions and reclaim control even in the toughest of situations. I took what she taught me, and I put it into a step-by-step process that I call The Poker Face Playbook. ➡️Whether you roll your eyes, yell, slam doors, or burst into tears, uncontrolled displays of emotion can hinder your ability to feel confident and your ability to appear confident. Leaders need both, so if you struggle to keep your composure, you might try this process: 1️⃣Brainstorm Your Tough Situations. 2️⃣Develop an “Enjoy/Dread” List by reflecting on Why these situations impact you. 3️⃣Develop a Rescue Plan of strategies you could use to help you through. 4️⃣Test Out Your Rescue Plan. 5️⃣Debrief. 6️⃣Develop a One-page Summary of Your Plan for Reference. 🌟Get the detailed playbook and my personal examples in the newsletter: How I Learned to Keep My Composure In Tough Situations. 🔗Link in comments. #innovation #entrepreneurship #engineering #leadership #management #personaldevelopment

How a simple pause becomes the game changer in high-stakes decisions. One business strategy I've found invaluable over the years is the importance of pausing and "sleeping on" responses during a contentious interaction. Here are some example situations: - When receiving critical feedback from stakeholders or clients that feels personal or unjust. - During heated negotiations with high stakes, emotions run hotter. - In moments of internal conflict, be it with team dynamics or decision-making clashes. Waiting a day can make a world of difference. - A night's rest provides the emotional detachment needed to approach the situation more objectively. - Time allows for the gathering of more information and perspectives, leading to a well-rounded understanding. - It enables crafting a thoughtful, strategic response rather than a reactive one. So use this strategy to set yourself up for leadership success. This approach: - Demonstrates patience, wisdom, and control, reinforcing your leadership stature. - Leads to more balanced and effective decisions, avoiding the pitfalls of snap judgments. - Shows respect for all parties involved, often leading to more amicable resolutions and stronger professional relationships. In leadership, the race isn't always won by the swift but by those who navigate with wisdom and foresight. 

Leadership is Tested in Moments of Anger It was a busy Monday morning when Sarah, a team lead, received an urgent email from her manager, Mark. "The presentation slides are a mess," Mark wrote. "Fix them immediately!" Sarah had spent the weekend perfecting the slides, ensuring every detail was aligned with the brief. Confused and frustrated by the criticism, she responded, "Mark, could you specify what needs fixing? I’ve followed all the guidelines provided." Mark, still fuming after a stressful client call, didn’t bother to explain. His frustration spilled over, and he fired off more curt responses, blaming Sarah for what he thought was a poorly prepared presentation. Hours later, after calming down, Mark finally reviewed the slides again. To his surprise, they were flawless. The issue wasn’t Sarah’s work—it was his own stress clouding his judgment. Realizing his mistake, Mark walked over to Sarah’s desk. "I owe you an apology," he admitted. "Your work was excellent. My frustration earlier was misplaced." Sarah accepted the apology, but the incident left her thinking: Could this have been avoided? Mark learned an important leadership lesson that day: Anger is short-lived, but its impact can last far longer. Here’s what leaders can take away from this: 1/ Pause Before Reacting: When emotions run high, step away. A moment of calm can prevent a lifetime of regret. 2/ Seek Understanding Instead of Blaming: Before pointing fingers, ask questions. Often, frustrations stem from misunderstandings, not mistakes. 3/ Apologize and Correct: Mistakes happen—even for leaders. Owning up to them strengthens trust and respect within the team. 4/ Lead with Clarity: Leadership isn’t about being right all the time; it’s about navigating challenges with composure and fairness. In leadership, the true test isn’t avoiding mistakes—it’s about how you handle them when they arise. Anger might feel justified in the moment, but clarity and understanding always leave a stronger impact. What’s one moment where a pause or a second thought helped you avoid a mistake? How did it shape you as a leader?

One of my former counselors, Carolyn, spent time in an addiction trauma unit early in her career... She learned that when a situation is chaotic, it is important to slow down, slow way down. There is so much wisdom in that. I still remember Carolyn sharing that the unit tended to feed off frenzy. When one patient was having a problem or incident, it would often cause others anxiety, and within a few minutes, the entire unit would be in chaos. She told me that in moments like that, it is so critical to not feed off the energy around you and to slow down to at least half speed, or else life-altering mistakes can happen. She shared that one night, they were short-staffed, and a patient was having a severe episode while a new patient was going through intake. They wanted Carolyn to rush the intake process to assist, but something in her told her to slow down, and she redid the intake process twice. She found a knife hidden in the new patient's luggage — something she missed on the first spot check. Her advice is essential for all of us. In workplaces, we tend to think of all crises as urgent and important. If our boss is upset because a client or an executive is annoyed, the whole team can be in a frenzy. As a team leader or member, it is important to be responsive but also keep your cool and check everything twice. Mistakes are more likely to happen when the situation is volatile or stressful. Being able to stay calm in a crisis is such an important skill. #leadership #leaders #workplace

3 Stress-Reducing Tactics Used by Fighter Pilots—That Work in ANY High-Stakes Moment 🚀 Whether you're in a boardroom, on a stage, making a game-time decision, or handling an emergency, pressure is inevitable. Losing control? That’s optional. Here’s how fighter pilots stay cool under extreme stress—and how you can, too: 1️⃣ Interrupt the Panic Loop When tension spikes, your brain locks up. Pilots wiggle their toes. Why? Because it forces your focus back to the present and stops your mind from spiraling. Try it before your next big moment. 2️⃣ Force a Micro-Pause High-pressure situations make you rush—which leads to mistakes. Instead, take one deep breath before you act. Even a half-second pause creates space for better decisions over knee-jerk reactions. 3️⃣ Default to Training, Not Emotion Under stress, instincts aren’t always right. That’s why pilots train relentlessly—to build automatic responses for critical moments. Repetition creates confidence. The more you prepare, the less pressure shakes you. 🔥 Bottom line: Stress is a given. Staying in control is a choice. Try one of these next time you’re in a high-stakes moment—then report back! 😎 👉 What’s YOUR best quick stress-reducing tactic? Drop it in the comments! #PerformanceUnderPressure #Mindset #Leadership #TheFlipside ------------------------ Hi, I’m Michelle, a former fighter pilot turned speaker and author. I help people turn fear into fuel and take bold action, improving their lives and creating higher-performing teams. 🚀 Ready to make your next event unforgettable? Let’s talk! 📩 Shoot me a DM or email and let's chat!

The higher the stakes, the harder it becomes to hear yourself think. When tension rises, the default is to speed up. Fill the silence. Push through uncertainty with urgency. But some of the worst decisions get made in that headspace. Clarity doesn’t come from pressure. It comes from presence. Simple practices like breath awareness and short pauses between meetings aren’t soft skills. They’re structure. They allow leaders to observe before reacting, and to respond without bringing yesterday’s stress into today’s conversation. Decision quality improves when the nervous system is calm. Not passive. Not disengaged. Just steady. I’ve found that centered leadership doesn’t just benefit the person making the call. It shifts the energy in the room. It creates space for better thinking, deeper listening, and more resilient outcomes. If you’re navigating complexity, try slowing down your response time—not your progress. Presence might be your most underused advantage.