Questions to Test the Waters in a Negotiation

One of the first sentences I learned in English (I was born in Israel) was "but why". This used to drive my parents mad and while I am still an unbelievably curious person, I understand the reason for that frustration of theirs. "Why" is not only overused, it's time to rethink its effectiveness. "Why" leads to inaccurate answers, often justifications instead of true motivations. These faulty explanations become anchors, thanks to biases like "commitment consistency" and "confirmation bias." So, what should we ask? 1️⃣ "What will this enable you to do?" - Shifts focus to the decision's context. 2️⃣ "Why is that important to you?" or "What's at stake?" - Uncovers emotional drivers. 3️⃣ "Who else cares about that outcome?" - Considers social influence. Moving beyond "why," we gain deeper insights and create a more impactful experience for the audience (customers, partners, leaders, or colleagues). **** By the way, when worded more conversationally, I have found these questions lead to far better outcomes with 10 and 12-year-old negotiators too... #insights2action #BeyondTheSurface #DecisionMaking

Negotiations aren’t fights. The winning mindset for a negotiation is curiosity. I cringe when I hear a client say that they want to “fight” for a better offer or a better severance package. I get why people default to fight language. It feels powerful. But in practice, it usually shuts down dialogue instead of opening it. It can make you come across as entitled, aggressive, and too “me-focused". But anchoring to curiosity? That makes you come across as thoughtful, measured, and strategic. Stop and think about what you’re actually negotiating: If you’re negotiating a job offer, you’re starting a new relationship. If you’re negotiating severance, you’re trying to end on as amicable terms as possible, given the circumstances. With a mindset of curiosity, your first job in a salary or severance negotiation becomes to uncover the thought process behind your offer. On the very first call with a recruiter, you can ask: →“How do you think about the target total compensation for this role?” You’re listening for: ↳the range on base salary ↳how performance targets are set and determined ↳what benchmarks they use ↳how they think about equity grants and refreshers When you receive the offer call, you can say: →“This is so exciting. I know that each company has its own philosophy towards total compensation. Would you mind walking me through how this offer was created for me?” Your tone of voice matters. You have energy but you also genuinely want to learn. You’re listening for: ↳Where in the salary band you’ve been placed (and why) ↳How they’re accounting for anything you’re leaving on the table, like unvested equity ↳What they’ve offered to sweeten the deal, like a signing bonus ↳Where they’ve made exceptions for you Once you understand how the company thinks about compensation–and, more importantly, how they have weighed your experience and interview performance to inform your offer–you can start to understand where you have leverage and where you have (reasonable) room to negotiate. When you anchor to curiosity, you position yourself as collaborative and strategic, the exact qualities companies want in their leaders. If you were coaching a friend in a negotiation, what questions would you suggest they ask?

"Is that a showstopper for you?" This is one of the most valuable questions I've ever learned to ask during negotiations. Why? Because the answer, whether 'yes' or 'no,' provides crucial insights. And insight is what you need most during a negotiation. I've found this question useful in various contexts, from hiring to acquisitions. Example: I was in the process of hiring someone but was constrained by a tight budget. I offered a salary range of X, and the candidate countered with Y. So I asked, "Is that a showstopper for you?" The implications of their answer are significant: 👎 If it is a showstopper: We both save time, recognizing that there isn't a fit. Alternatively, it forces us to approach the issue from a different perspective. (Assuming the range was also a showstopper for me.) 👍 If it's not a showstopper: The conversation advances, allowing us to focus on other essential factors. 👉 Pro Tip: After asking the question, be quiet and let the other party think and respond. The ensuing silence might be uncomfortable, but the insights gained are invaluable. Good luck!

There is one simple question that will help you gain clarity on where you stand in your deal cycles- “Based on what we have seen so far, on a scale of 1-10, 10 being send me the contract right now and 1 being please never call me again, how well do you think X solves your problem of Y?” This will tell you where you stand. More often than not, you will get a 6-8. Then a great follow up- “What haven’t we seen together that would get you to a 9 or a 10?” This specific question helps you suss out objections or problem areas that might have gone uncovered if you just moved on. But bottom line, we shouldn’t start discussing pricing, concessions or start negotiating until we get that 9 or 10.