As we gather for Thanksgiving, I reflect on the Marianist characteristic that has shaped my experience here most at Chaminade University: Family spirit.
A family, as we know, can be beautiful, messy, complicated and real. However, every Marianist community accepts each member the way a family accepts their own, imperfectly, patiently and with a commitment to stay connected.
That feels especially important today now that we live in a world shaped by what people often call a “cancel culture.” If we see something we don’t agree with, we unfollow. If someone says something we don’t like, we block them. We shut down conversations instead of staying curious.
But the Marianist way, the family spirit way, calls us to do something harder and far more meaningful: to stay at the table. Not because it’s easy, but because the community is worth it.
Thanksgiving brings home that message for me.
Every year, I imagine the “perfect holiday” where everyone is together: One table, no drama and no awkward conversations. But that’s never been my reality. My children are spread all across the United States and every year looks a little different. Some are loud and full, others are quiet or shaped by transitions that none of us expected.
I used to think the imperfection meant something was wrong. But now I realize the perfect holiday is the one where we show up as our real selves and stay at the table.
Blessed Adele, co-founder of the Marianist Sisters, talked about engraving deeply in our hearts the spirit of family. Adele understood something profound: Belonging is not something we wait for, we build it. We create space, we pull up chairs, and we make room for each person’s story.
During the holidays, that feels especially important. Even though this is a joyful time, it can also be a difficult one. There are hidden battles, empty chairs and conversations we avoid. There are people carrying grief, stress, loneliness or uncertainty beneath the surface. The call of family spirit is to notice and to stay close.
I’ve witnessed at Chaminade how people do this instinctively. A colleague checking in quietly on someone who seems a little off. A student pulling up to sit next to someone sitting alone. Teams rallying around a member navigating something heavy.
When I think about gratitude, I think not just of the obvious blessings, but of the unexpected gifts.
I’m grateful for the family I see and the family I miss.
I’m grateful for the imperfect tables that still somehow hold us.
I’m grateful for the people who keep inviting me back when life gets messy.
And I’m grateful for things I never used to appreciate:
I’m grateful for forgiveness, because it lets me begin again.
I’m grateful for disagreements, because that means the relationship is still alive.
I’m grateful for questions, because they push me toward a deeper understanding.
I’m grateful for transitions, because they stretch me into growth.
I’m grateful for my shortcomings, because they keep me humble and open to grace.
I’m grateful for hidden struggles, because they remind me to be gentle with others.
I’m grateful for the chance to start fresh each day, no matter what came before.
So this Thanksgiving, my hope for all of us is simple:
That we pay attention to who needs a chair at the table.
That we resist “cancel culture” and choose curiosity instead of quick judgment.
That we stay at the table, even when it’s uncomfortable.
And that we continue to build a Marianist community where Family Spirit isn’t just spoken, but it’s alive.
Because sometimes the holiest thing we can do, is stay.
Jennifer Creech, Ed.D., is vice president for enrollment management and associate provost for student success at Chaminade University of Honolulu.
